Funny Valentine’s Day Captions

  1. Found the person who annoys me the least and called it love.
  2. If we were on a sinking ship, I’d share my door with you.
  3. I love you more than pizza, and that’s saying a lot.
  4. So glad that I went from your snack to your meal.
  5. I love you more than Kanye loves Kanye.
  6. All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
  7. The world needs more love and less work emails.
  8. I’d press pause on my favorite song for you.
  9. I love you for being my emergency contact.
  10. I like you even even more than chocolate.
  11. If I had feelings I’d have them for you.
  12. I’d give up carbs for you.
  13. You’re so lucky to have me.
  14. I found the person who annoys me the least and called it love.
  15. Consider this post my Valentine’s Day card.
  16. I love you more than chocolate.
  17. Roses are red. Violets are blue. My Valentine’s date is cuter than you.
  18. If paper valentines were still a thing, I’d give mine to you.
  19. Here’s to being my emergency contact someday.
  20. Every pizza me loves every pizza you.
  21. You’re the only person I send the heart eyes emoji to.
  22. Valentine’s Day sucks, but you don’t.
  23. All you need is love. And a little chocolate.
  24. “Roses are Red, Violets Are Blue, Sunflowers Are Yellow, I bet you were expecting something romantic but these are just gardening facts” – Unknown
  25. “The real holiday is February 15th, when all of the candy goes on sale” – Unknown
  26. “Support the greeting card companies today, Happy Valentine’s Day” – Unknown
  27. “Shout out to all of the last minute people buying stuff on Valentine’s Day, the struggle is real for you today” – Unknown
  28. “If you can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with someone you love, forget about it at a bar that you like.” – Unknown
  29. “This year, rather than candy for your valentine, why not liquor instead?” – Unknown
  30. “Anybody know where the cheapest place to buy a dozen red roses is?… asking for a friend.” – Unknown
  31. “I bring my kids to a romantic restaurant on Valentine’s day as a birth control reminder to the other couples.” – Unknown
  32. “Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” — Jules Renard
  33. “If you can’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with someone you love, celebrate it with alcohol and pizza.” – Unknown
  34. “My love for you transcends all things so don’t expect a Valentine’s Day card or gift from me.” – Unknown
  35. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” -Charles M. Schulz
  36. “I just wanted to tell you, on this very special Valentine’s Day: I’m exceptionally thankful you lowered your standards enough to date me.” – Unknown
  37. “Three things can’t be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love.” – Yiddish Proverb
  38. “I Love you with all of my butt. I would say ‘heart’ but my butt is bigger than my heart” – Unknown
  39. Happy Singles Awareness Day!
  40. In love there are two things– bodies and words.
  41. Thank you for secretly becoming my valentine by hearting one of my tweets on Twitter.
  42. I fall in love with myself, and I want someone to share it with me. And I want someone to share me, with me.
  43. Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.
  44. But love, I’ve come to understand, is more than mumbling three words before bedtime.
  45. True love is singing karaoke ‘Under Pressure’ and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.
  46. Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? No, but they had an Apple.
  47. After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was nobody to pick me up.
  48. People call it Valentine’s Day, I call it Wednesday.
  49. Love is easy. It’s the people that are hard.
  50. You wanna hear a joke?… Valentine’s Day!
  51. I don’t love valentine’s day but I love half price chocolate day.
  52. Roses are red, violets are blue, cupids are gay and so are you!